#pls someone validate me i worked so fucking hard on this you have no clue
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Injustice 2 clash sequence type beat LOL;;; this took so fucking long but I'm really proud of the result, really happy with how that moon turned out as well as Lulu's face nyehehehehe
#hellsing#hellsing fanart#alucard#hellsing oc#my ocs#my art#clip studio paint#hellsing fandom#hellsing ultimate#hellsing fanfiction#judah the hammer#pls someone validate me i worked so fucking hard on this you have no clue#why did i have to give judah bronze scale armor of allll fucking things#this was an excuse to practice lighting more as well#lesions of a different kind
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
-Rivals- Hermione Granger x Female Reader
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  Kody: Iâm using the owls grading system for the story so if thatâs not right, sue me i guess idk.Â
  Movie/Show: Harry Potter, ignoring the storyline
  House/Year: Ravenclaw / 7th year
  Request: Can I request a bold ravenclaw reader (her attitude almost could pass as a slytherin ngl) she's been Hermione's rival when it comes to grades and they DON'T get along very well. Reader is the opposite of mione's reserved personality. But rivals don't kiss and make out with each other secretly in the lavatory đ pls enemies to lovers (with some tension;) ykyk and then one day, they walk the great hall hand in hand and everyone is like don't they find each other insufferable?
  Possible Triggers/Warnings: if you donât like lesbians get the hell off my page, sexual tension, enemies to lovers trope, cursing
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  love came unexpectedly at times, you learned that at young age from fairy tales and such. Well all kids did, but kids eventually grew up and came to the realization that fairy tales were exactly what they were, fairy tales. Fiction. Not real.Â
  people could call you cold hearted or rude, but you would describe yourself as blunt or brutally honest. Never afraid to speak your mind or point out injustice when you saw fit. To put it simpler terms, professors at Hogwarts preferred you didnât speak at times.Â
  âYour too outspoken Ms. L/nâÂ
  âStick to your academics Ms. L/nâ
   âYou wouldnât be in detention so much so if kept your mouth shut Ms. L/nâ
  merlin, you were exhausted of hearing your own last name. You guessed the only reason you werenât reprimanded as worse as the Weasley Twins was because you were one of Hogwarts brightest witches, always excelled in academics, in every subject.Â
  you couldnât explain it to others even if you tried other then it just came naturally. Your parents, when they were attended Hogwarts were both just as naturally skilled in there studies as you were. So you must have inherited there âbig brainâ as your mother said many times before.
  you were never one to gloat though, it was never your style. You were more humble about what you could accomplish. That was until she got involved. That egoistical, hypocritical, Gryffindor girl. Hermione Granger became the bane of your existence early into your fifth year.Â
  until then Ms. Granger had been the top of all her classes, no one even came close to her intelligence, naming her âThe Brightest Witch At Hogwartsâ and Hermione wore that title with pride. Being a Muggle born put a target on her head as well as stereotypes.
  most students and some staff almost immediately came to the conclusion she wasnât capable of achieving goals that regular half or pure bloods could. It was a terrible way to think, but it was unfortunately the reality of being involved with the wizarding world.Â
  Hermione was lucky to have friends like she did that cared about her no matter who she was or what she became, but it didnât stop her need to feel validated in her academics. It was the one thing no one could giver her shit for, because she was the best at it and no one else was.Â
  until that fateful fifth year that was mentioned earlier. It was the time when you finally got your mind and heart into your studie. You blew past most of the student body rather quickly, earning the title of the fastest turn around at Hogwarts.
  it was nice
  then it wasnât, for Hermione of courseÂ
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  fifth year / past
   âIt seems we have two students with an Outstanding this time aroundâ Professor Flitwick spoke as the exams from the previous week had landed neatly onto the wooden desk in front of you. âcongratulations Ms. Granger and Ms. L/nâ
  Hermioneâs head perked up like a cat who had heard a bag of hard food shake from the nest room over, eager. She had never heard that name before, it didnât come as much as an surprise though considering how big Hogwarts was. She leant to the left where Harry Potter sat.Â
   âWhoâs L/n? Do you know her?â she asked, casually though Harry knew her better then most. He gave her a half hearted shrug âNo clue, try Ronâ he suggests. Hermione nods once before leaning over to the right, where the Weasley sat, scowling at his exam.Â
   âMumâs going to kill meâ he muttered, bringing no reaction to Grangerâs face. He never studied. âRon, do you know who this L/n is?â she repeated the question she gave to Harry. Ron turns his head away from the parchment and to Hermione.Â
  his brows furrowed as he searches the corners of his mind for where he had heard the name from, until the visible light bulb popped over his head- well not so visible actually. âOh um- Y/n L/n. sheâs a Ravenclaw, her parents are certified geniuses. They work at the ministry. Department of magical educationâ
  his words did not soothe the wracking thought in the young Grangerâs mind. âCertified geniuses?â Hermione echos. âIf thatâs so how come sheâs only getting Outstandings now? she must have cheated somehowâ she thought aloud.Â
   âI surely didnât cheatâ
  like an owl Hermioneâs head turned over her shoulder, her two Gryffindor pals doing the same. In her sight was a girl, her age, in a Ravenclaw robe. She had S/C skin with H/L H/C hair and E/C eyes that were staring back at her. Hermione was almost stunned into silence- keyword being almost.Â
  âthe explain the good grade all of the sudden, L/n?â
  you looked rather confused. You had never met the girl and she was accusing you of cheating because you had never gotten an Outstanding before? Was this a prank of some sort or fever dream? âI studied for once. You have no right accusing me, i donât even know you that wellâ
  Harry placed a hand upon Hermioneâs shoulder, signaling for her to stop before she caused a scene. Looking back, she should have listened âNo right? I have a right to point out people who are just trying to cheat their way through school while people like us actually care about our gradesâ
  what the Gryffindor girl wasnât expecting was for you to start laughing. Her friend, Cho Chang joining in, finding it just as equally hilarious. Hermioneâs face turned just as bright as Ronâs hair. âWhat is so funny?â you and Cho slowly come to a stop, breathing in and out.Â
   âwhatâs funny is that your ego is so incredibly large, so much so that it canât comprehend that someone, not a Gryffindor either was able to match your intelligence. Now shove off â you said it all with a grin on your face, because you certainly knew you were right.Â
  and from that day, you both despised each other
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  seventh year / present
  and with every exam, every questioned called on by a teacher, you fastly became Hermioneâs rival. It was a term Cho used, but you didnât really see it that way since you werenât competing with her. You never studied harder to make sure you got the same grade, never tried to sabotage her in any way.Â
  you didnât care much about it actually
  but you did quite enjoy her face, the way her nostrils flared up an her cheeks turned a bright red in anger. It was cute seeing her so mad. Sending er a wink or sly grin when she glared at you became a daily routine as well. When at first you ignored her you now loved annoying her.
  never having to say a word was probably your favorite part.Â
  thatâs probably when feelings began to mix into it, but you either didnât notice or refuse to acknowledge them at all. You genuinely thought you hated this girl, so why in the world would you ever think you liked her? Makes sense, right? Were not even going to mention the questioning your sexuality.
   âSit still while i pass out your exams from yesterday. Once you recieve your paper you may get up and leaveâÂ
   âYou think if Snape got laid he wouldnât be such a prick?â the Slytherin boy spoke, leaning towards you. turning your head ever so slightly, you lock eyes with Draco âWhy are you even sitting here?â you whisper back, giving him a mock astonished look.
  he rolls his grey eyes, shrugging his shoulders âYou never talk to me outside of class anymoreâ he grumbles. Is he- Is this- What is happening? âThatâs because your a little shit and pushed Neville in the hallway yesterdayâ yeh, you caught his dumbass.Â
  Dracoâs eyes widen a bit, not knowing you had been in the hallway during the crime. âYou saw that?- what are you his protector?â he says, clearly as an insult, but oh little did he know that you were indeed exactly what he just said and would say it with pride.
   âYes-â
   âMs. L/n, Outstanding as usual as well Mr. Malfoy. Good work, the both of youâ Snape places the exams in front of each of you, but you were both to busy staring in shock. This bitter, old, mean, crude man just compliment you. Merlin, you had finally gotten fathers approval
  (what in the fuck am i writing)
   âIs this heaven?â Draco questioned, staring bug eyed forward.Â
   âNoâ
   âHow do you know?â
   âCormac is hereâ
   âYeah your right, feelings overâ both you and Draco sighed, turning to look at each other before laughing quietly. He was a pretty chill dude sometimes. âWhat!?â the loud screech filled your ears. All heads turned behind you, so you followed that and saw the one and only Hermione Granger.Â
  she was huffing and puffing. You feared for the stick and straw houses in the world for a moment. Harry quickly stood up and pushed her shoulders down, forcing her back into her seat âI've never gotten an Exceeds Expectations beforeâ Hermione sputters out.Â
  she
  got
  what
  now?
  oh this was rich, absolutely hilarious, so much so that Draco had already began to laugh. âPoor Granger, guess you really arenât the brightest witchâ he taunted. Hermione looked up, glaring daggers at the Slytherin. Merlin, he had such a big mouth.
  then her brown eyes strayed to you, but you only pursed your lips together, providing her no emotion to work off of. In a haste, she collected her things, leaving the cursed exam on the table nd rushing out the door, both Ron and Harry calling out for her.Â
  fuck
  standing up, you grab your bag and look down at Draco. His laughter comes to an end and he looks up at you âWhat?â he asked. You copied his dementor singers from third year, making him look at your hands. You took that time to reach down and flick his forehead.Â
  he pulls away, his palm rubbing his head in circles âBloody hell, what was that for?!â he exclaimed. What an idiot. âThis is why we donât hang outâ you deadpan before finally going to exit the classroom, leaving a grumbling, mumbling Draco. Something about you being  âmean friendâ
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  only having ten minutes until Charms class you began to search the halls. Merlin where had she run off too? The school wasnât THAT big- okay maybe it was. You had almost called quits, making a mental note to check up on her during lunch when you passed the restroom.
  sniffling and crys were heard. Youâll admit, it kind off hurt to hear. Taking a few steps backwards, you use the palm off your hand to slowly push the door open so it wouldnât creak like the old shit it was. When it was open just enough for you to fit through, you slip in.Â
  gazing around, you see Hermione bent over the sink, sobbing. You could hear her voice becoming rougher by the second as she destroyed her vocal cords. âGranger?â you say, staying a few feet behind her. Hermione looks up in the mirror, spotting you behind her.Â
  her distraught expression quickly shifted to anger âYouâ she seethed. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion âMe?â you say back, crossing your arms. âLeave me the hell alone L/n!â she shouts, angry tears flooding down her cheeks. Raising your hands, you offer your surrender.
   âShit, sorry. I was just trying to see if you were okayâ you admit. Hermione turns on her heels, facing you directly this time before speaking âOh so now your my friend, your a bully! All you do is step on my toes and try to make me look like a fool!â
   âAre you on fucking drugs Granger? Not once have i ever gone out my way to harm you of any sort. Your the one who is obsessed with trying to be better then me and i never gave a shit. I never wanted to be your rival for three years and i certainly never bullied you!â
  the words you spoke went out one of Hermioneâs ears and out the other. For someone as smart as her, she could be quite dense when angry âYou donât get to play the saint, L/n! I have spent those three years studying as hard as i can and you donât even have to try!âÂ
  throwing your hands up in the air a crazy person because she was honestly starting to make your brain hurt quite a bit, you laugh loudly âOh my- no one asked you too! What is so wrong with us being the same?! â you shouted, finally raising your voice as much as she had.
   âBecause your not a Muggle! You donât know what itâs like to have everyone you meet already assume your not worth their time just because your parents arenât witches or wizards!â she crept towards you and which each step she took you took a step right the fuck back.
  this chick wasnât going to hit you, right?
   âI have never judged you for your blood status Granger, i frankly could care less. What i do judge you for is you know, the giant ego thingâ you spat back only causing her to gasp in offense âI do not have an ego!â she yells, stepping into your boundaries basically.
  you had tried to back up like before, but you were pressed up against a wall at this point. âYes you do and itâs as big as Hagrid!â you reply. Hermione grabs the collar of your white uniform shirt, pulling you down a bit so her face was inches from yours, trying to intimidate you.
   âTake it back!â she threatens. In that moment your eyes scanned her face, noting her almost perfect skin, her brown eyes that looked more hazel up close then far away, and her lips. They looked so soft and inviting. You couldnât quite understand why you were thinking like this all of the sudden.
  but it felt right, so right
  in a swift motion you place your lips on Hermioneâs. You had thought sheâd pull away, but only half a second later her arms were wrapped around your neck, pulling you as close as possible to her. You tangled one of your hands into her light brown wavy mess and the other pushed on the small of her back.Â
  the kiss was messy and sloppy, not amount of anything really could make it appropriate. How did you two go from fighting to almost ripping each others uniforms off? A question no one could really answer but yourself as well Hermione.Â
  it was over as soon as it began with Hermione pulling away, leaning her forehead against yours. You could make out the small smile on her face, it made you smile as well. âThat was-â she started to speak, but was stopped by her own laughter.Â
   âYeahâ you breathed out. What had just happened?
     âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  four months later
  ever since that day you and Hermione would casually meet up in the lavatory to kiss and feel up on each other after, btween, during classes. Anything really. You both had also not interacted at all outside of these visits. Just stayed away from each other as much as possible.
  most people thought you two had either made up after three years of rivalry or had decided to no longer interact with each other at all. Little did they know right? Speaking of that, you pull away from Hermione, panting for air âWe have divination in three minutesâ you spoke.Â
  her face turned to worry instantly making you grin to yourself âGodric, i have to get out of here. Wait a couple minutesâ she gathered her belongings and rushed out the restroom not even leaving you with an goodbye kiss. How rude. After about five minutes or so you leave as well
  once you get to class you look around the room and spot Hermione already sat with Harry and Ron on one side of the arch like sitting area for the students. âY/n!â oh not again. Turning your head to the right, you spt the Slytherin boy with his mates.
  this guy just doesnât quit. You plop yourself next to Draco Malfoy âI thought you were going to ignore me againâ he admits. Ignoring his statement, you gaze around the people at your table âWhereâs Parkinson? If iâm going to be stuck with you gits and Theo i rather it be with herâÂ
  Theo cracks a smile while Draco rolls his eyes âSheâs sick, stuck in her dormsâ he explains. You nod mindlessly and look over at Hermione. She was brushing through her hair with her fingers, trying to make it look like you werenât tugging on it just minutes ago.Â
   âWhatâs that on your neck?â Harry asks, moving the top part of Hermioneâs robe with his finger, causing her to swat his hand away âItâs just a bug biteâ she says with haste. quick thinking, thatâs kinda cute. For some odd reason you liked seeing her explain her way out of a hickey that you gave her.Â
  class soon started, but you kept your inventive gaze on her. It was adorable how she would catch you staring and turn a nice shade of red. It brought a smug smile to your face each time. Professor Trelawney had called upon Hermione to ask a question, but she seemed to be too busy avoiding your gaze.Â
   âMy dear, Ms. Grangerâ Trelawney said for maybe the third time until Hermione finally fell back down to reality. She looked at the Professor who gave her a kind smile âOh um-â the Gryffindor put on a nervous smile, her eyes looking to you. You sent her a wink.
  merlin you were such an asshole
  Hermione looked at her lap, trying to muster up the words, any words actually. Her savior wore glasses âHermione isnât feeling to well. Can Ron and i take her to the hospital wing?â Harry asked. What a buzzkill. Trelawney nods, waving her hand to the direction of the door.Â
  Harry tapped Hermioneâs shoulder while Ron grabbed her things and off they went.Â
     âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  a week later
   âI have to head to dinner, you should too. I saw that you didnât eat during lunchâ Hermione spoke, buttoning her uniform shirt. You smile, looking into the mirror so you could fix your hair âWatching me Granger?â you ask, turning away from your reflection.
   âYou know i worry about your healthâ she said, which only made your smile wider âWhat is that stupid smile for?â Hermione questions, an amused laugh in her tone. Shrugging, you lean against the sink counter âStupid? I thought you liked my quote on quote âGoofy smileââÂ
  Hermione shakes her head, grabbing her bag from the floor âI better see you at dinner or iâll drag you there myselfâ she said playfully. An idea popped into your mind. âThen drag meâ you smirk, tilting your head to the left. Hermione looks at you, shaking her head again. âYou know i canâtâ
   âWhy not? Itâs been four months. I would like to be your-â you stopped mid sentence. You both had never really gave each other labels before. It was always just the casual make out and flirting, but now you were much more. Fuck it âI would like to be your girlfriend in publicâ
  Hermioneâs brow eyes went wide as she heard those words. It becoming a little too real. You saw her conflicted face and immediately felt some sort of shame. Averting your gaze to the ground, you take a deep breath. âForget i said anythingâÂ
   âNo!- i mean. Iâm ready. Plus iâm tired of being distracted by you during classâ Hermione lightened the mood just a tad. You look back up at her, cracking a half smile âIâm most likely still going to distract youâ you point out, making her chuckle. Cute.
  she inhales sharply âLetâs do thisâ she states confidently, letting out the breath. She reached out, opening her hand for you to grab. In that small gesture, you knew you would be with this woman for as long as you lived. Grabbing her hand, you intertwined your fingers with hers.Â
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  hand in hand, you walk into the great hall. Heads turned and pupils dialated at the sight of you and Hermione walking in together. You honestly felt a little self conscious until you saw the bright smile of Cho and Luna as well as Draco who gave you a hidden thumbs up.
  both you and Hermione took seat at the Gryffindor table. âSo Hermione, how long as this been going on?â Harry asked. Hermione glances at you before her best friend âFour months, one week.â she said, gleaming with pride at her memory.Â
  Harry looked taken aback at the time, but gave you both a smile âWell at least you both are getting along finallyâ he says, Ron nodding beside âYeah- getting alongâ the Weasley jokes. You laugh a bit before leaning over to kiss the temple of Hermione's head.Â
  rivals am i right?
     âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  Click here to join my Taglist so you never miss a new story from me!
  @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @queeriacs @marrymetheonott
  âŒ-âȘ-âŒ
  Kody- Aye look its 10 am and i havenât slept. Good night, my requests are open blah blah. Anyways, peace.Â
#hermione granger#hermione granger x reader#hermione granger x you#hermione granger x y/n#hermione granger x fem!reader#hermione granger x female reader#hermione granger x ravenclaw!reader#harry potter x reader#harry potter#harry potter imagine#harry potter oneshot#harry potter fanfiction#hermione granger one shot#x reader#x you#x y/n#x fem!reader#x female reader#oneshot#one shot#imagine#imagines#hermione granger imagine
370 notes
·
View notes
Text
rules: answer 20 questions then tag 20 ppl you want to get to know better! i was tagged by @nightquills who is an absolute angel & the only person here i respectÂ
i should mention that iâve changed all the âfavorite __â questions to be plural bc i hate picking one of anything. the bisexuality jumped out.Â
name: most ppl here call me vivian!! but my legal name is pinche tonta
nickname(s): my friends who knew me in elementary school still call me rocky. pls dont ask me to explain while i still have a shred of dignity left
zodiac: this is the third time someone has said their moon and sun sign when tagging me in these things and i still have no fuckin clue what that means. iâm a pisces and i know nothing beyond thatÂ
height: tall
languages: spanish and english! and an update on the last time i answered this question: i now know five words in sign language lets go! my moms big brain is working overtime to accomplish this
nationality: estadounidense and mexicanÂ
favorite seasons: will i ever not love summer? no. i love the heat and the sun baby! but the fall time really puts me in the perfect balance between wearing nice clothes and not having to shaveÂ
favorite flowers: do i know anything about flowers? absolutely not. cempasuchitl? itâs the only one i know and frankly i can live w thatÂ
favorite scents: mint! fresh linens! tea! freshly brewed coffee! i can go on & thats a threatÂ
favorite colors: i LOVE olive green! and the soft lighter shades of blue and yellow! oh and pink? iâm her number one bitch.Â
favorite animals: i read ahead for once in my life so i will not go off about how much i love dogs. yet. so i should say that ever since i wrote that thing for v for her bday i havenât gone a single day not thinking about horses. oh! turtles! those dudes just float around. the dream tbh.Â
favorite fictional character: u donât understand. u cannot comprehend how long iâve been waiting for someone to write the perfect neurotic, too loud, too talkative, indiscreet, bisexual mexican kid who lacks all sense of self-perseverance and has an emotional intelligence of zero. that person being alex claremont-diaz from rwrb. we all need someone to project on and i have dibs on this one. him and nicky hemmick.Â
coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate: coffee is okay but if i drink too much it makes me want to throw myself off a cliff. i only drink hot chocolate if my grandma makes it. i swear to god no person in the us knows how to make a good fuckin cup. so that leaves tea! sheâs validÂ
average sleep: maybe 4 hours for the last two weeks and yes i do hate it
dog or cat person: dogs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dogs!!!!!!!!!!! DOG. i love those sons of bitches!!!!!!!! the fuck!!!!!!! they just live their life like i love this one person and i run and jump when iâm excited, just living life baby! and thats the energy i want! but i respect cats
number of blankets: i usually sleep w two blankets? do not ask me how many i own
dream trip: i want to go to a beach! iâm DYING to go to a fuckin beach bro! i want to live my turtle dreamÂ
blog established: i have no damn clue and have no idea how to check and honestly iâm fine w thatÂ
followers: another thing iâve never checked and am perfectly fine never checking. my best guess is 5Â
random fact: i have a cut on my finger bc i went too hard with the lotion this morningÂ
iâm tagging @somewhereoverthebifrost, @minnute, @enbyofdionysos, @kaikamahine, @sillsif, @pistengyawa, and @hellcyeon! first of all, iâm surprised if any of u actually read to the end of this. second of all, if ur tagged but are looking at this like âewâ thats completely valid and u shouldnât feel pressured! if ur not tagged but thinking âooâ u should completely fuckin do it and tag me!Â
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
@vhsgf replied to your post âthis song made me realize i've never written about jason missing zoeâ
heather this might be too forward and angsty of me to say (pls lmk if is) but now i am curious about zoe reacting to jason's death and then mirroring w jason coming back from the dead and then finding out his best friend is dead. like it sounds so PAINFUL but like. also i wanna know about it. heather what have you done i-
i had to put my hair up for this. im literally so emotional about this rn,,,like when am i not but STILL OKAY IT MAKES ME VERY [SCREECHES] (also a read more because this is fucking long im so sorry)
okay letâs start with zoe because jasonâs death is a traumatic thing for her on like multiple points all relating back to when she was like elementary school aged (im pretty sure i have it where sheâs like 8 ish when this happens). before jason and before going into the whole vigilante business â no matter what version of zoe you prefer â she loses her two younger brothers in a joker related accident. he kills them. and zoe⊠zoe is so,,, well sheâs angry. because no one does anything. no one. not that fabled batman, not the police, not the fucking government â NOBODY. and sheâs just supposed to keep living her life like everything is fucking fine because oh thatâs just the way gotham is. and like why the fuck would she just keep living her life when her barely out of toddler aged little brothers are now dead?? why wouldnât she want to do something about that?? why the fuck should she just let it roll off her back like no biggie?? (of course, this is a catalyst for her motherâs downward spiral and eventual disappearance, and then kemeâs).
then of course, thereâs zoeâs powers. at that age she didnât really understand the extent of them, what she could do with them and all that, but as they develop and her own awareness of them develop, she is faced by like intense guilt and remorse. if only sheâd been able to do something. if only sheâd been there. if only she couldâve stopped the joker. if only, if only, if only. and like, realistically, there wasnât much she could do. it wasnât like she knew fully how strong she was; sheâd barely gotten flying down at that point, but then sheâs growing up and she realizes she never really had a limit. and she kind of has this complex, iâve said it before but she really does try to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders, so everything that has happened to her up until this point after the twins die, itâs partly her fault; if only she could have been better, she could have saved them, she could have her mom, she could have keme â she could have her family back.
then, of course, there is in all of this her intense hatred of the joker. and by correlation to the whole fucking issue, gotham city and batman. (ive said that they kind of grow to like each other more, but when z and jay become friends and through their teen years until his death, itâs kind of like whenever youre gay and your bff is gay and you both kind of hate the otherâs really fucked up parent whoâs okay sometimes but isnât all the time and you would totally like throw down with them if only there werenât like,,,repercussions)
anyway, so when jason dies, itâs a big fucking deal. like heâd already been acting weird, bruce was worried about him, z was worried about him, and then he dies okay. and zoe⊠bruce doesnât tell zoe right away. he doesnât tell her and when zoe does find out, she. is. pissed. all of the shit with her baby brothers comes back. she wasnât there. she wasnât able to save him â because she sure as hell KNOWS that she could have at this point. and now heâs GONE. AND THIS ENTIRE TIME, SHE HAD NO FUCKING CLUE BECAUSE BRUCE DIDNâT TELL HER!!! she couldnât even go to his funeral!!! and then, AND THEN, on fucking top of that â it was the joker who killed him. so jasonâs death was like a fucking quadruple blow to her.
after finding out the details, zoe goes binary for the first time. and itâs⊠well itâs scary. it takes a whole lot of coaxing from old teammates and being physically restrained by diana (who lowkey is kinda like why?? are?? we?? stopping?? her?? from?? killing?? the?? joker??) and clark and donna, and they canât even really knock her out because when sheâs binary, thereâs only really waiting out the duration of the high until she passes tf out from using too much energy. which she DOES and then after a good long talk with gran-gran, zoeâs going on a much needed retreat with diana to themyscira.
during that time, zoeâs super depressed. like reasonably, so. sheâs so exhausted and sheâs still angry but sheâs also just like,,, so tired. she lost her best friend dude. like she loves jason so much, she loves him so much, and then he was just gone. poof! and at least, at least with atsa and ahiga, she got to like, be there for their send off. jason ends up being another hole in her life, like her dad and her mom and keme. heâs added to this list of people who all were justâŠg o n e. she didnât get to mourn them. like obviously, she can, but every time she thinks about jason, she begins to spiral. (this is kind of when she starts drinking,,,, human alcohol canât really touch her but she does therapeutically â which is!! not good!!) she also begins to distance herself â from jasonâs titans (connor holds on with an iron grip and eddie still checks up on her, but rose was just as distraught and kyle is still kind of numb), from the original titans, from bruce and alfred, from diana, even from gran-gran and uncle bell. she fills the void with work as well as the alcohol that doesnât really do anything to her except make her mouth taste gross and weird and she hates it but itâs become a habit. if she isnât out doing some reckless thing while saving the world, then sheâs at a bar or just sitting by the ocean.
she has bad dreams too, like horrible dreams. and like,,, theyâre not necessarily horrific or anything,, she usually dreams about good times, memories with jason or with atsa and ahiga, sometimes some weird mixture of all three of them hanging out together and itâs the worst fucking thing because she wakes up and she wishes she was there too, that she could stay with them, because she misses them so much. she just wants her family back, she wants the family she had before jason and dick and alfred and the titans, but she also wants them too â she wants all of it.
and then it all comes to head with her dadâs sudden involvement with earth and shit. zoe sacrifices herself not only because she carries the fucking world on her shoulders and has a stupid martyr complex, but also because she thinks sheâd be okay dying like this. she doesnât. die that is. she doesnât die but she also doesnât come back.
jasonâs revival story arc thing is all a bit murky for me bc I kind of like mix the whole waking up and clawing himself from his grave and also the under the red hood storyline (and like correct me if there is a version like that bc like,,, idk I canât remember). anyway, so jason comes back, and like itâs kind of messy bc of timeline shit but he doesnât really come back, come back, until zâs gone. like gone gone. like they held a funeral and everything for her. jason didnât get to go and THAT is SHIT. like yeah, he wasnât fucking alive, nobody fucking knows heâs alive anyway, but it still hurts.
and like,,, you know what else kind of hurts, is like he kind of thought that after he came back, if no one was on his side â if for some reason literally everyone was against him â heâd still have zoe. thatâs the worst fucking part. he hears about what happened. he hears that she literally went ballistic. and like,, jason KNOWS that zoe would have his side, that zoe would be there for him, that even if she might not have agreed with some of the things heâs done, that sheâd be right by his side, showing she cares. because like. like I know bruce is kind of stunted with emotional expression, but itâs really hard to feel like youâre appreciated when someone elseâs love language is so fucking hard to translate, when you need constant validation, to be told you matter to be shown you matter to them and they canât accommodate even a little bit, because of their pride or because they have to deem that you deserve it all of a sudden. and like I love bruce, but they way he treats his kids is shit. so yeah. jason feels hella alone when he comes back and his best friend, his rock, his ride or die (literally wfkejvnk) is fucking gone.
jason definitely has nightmares too. he doesnât know how zoe died, like really know â no one does, because there hadnât been a body. and jasonâs mind can be a pretty dark place already, add on top of that the nightmares about his best friend dying the same way he did, or being like dick, who actually witnessed the explosion that âkilledâ zoe. he canât even fathom what zoe went through with his death, but eventually, as jason kind of comes back into the batfam and shit, he also kind of gets to be with the last of zoeâs family. gran-gran and uncle bell are much warmer than bruce wayne and that too big mansion and that cold fucking cave. jason goes to the ranch a lot, or finds himself at uncle bellâs antique shop whenever he needs a breather, to just be alone with something that close to zoe.
they literally both go through that period where theyâre extremely reckless with mourning and regrets and fuck i never got to say this and fuck what could I have done differently, what could I have changed if Iâd been there? but where jason is able to recover more effectively, zoe doesnât do so well in space.
really, that song had triggered thoughts about jason going through her things, the things she left in his bedroom â that bruce refused to touch or move or anything â and just thinking back on their life together. it was definitely shorter than they expected and when jason thinks about it, itâs a whole bunch of salty anger and throat swelling sadness that has him kind of crippled. because like,,, he also knows how the twins died, he knows how it happened, not only did he have the firsthand accounts from those most effected, but also like, he read the reports. he KNOWS, and he feels kind of guilty, just a little bit, that what he did put her through a similar version to losing her baby brothers.
NREJKVNERLFEWLFJNEKR FUCK OKAY I THINK I NEED TO STOP LIKE THIS IS OBVIOUSLY JUST A BIG DUMB BUT BFJKERNFKJEN F Â U Â C Â K Â OKAY
#vhsgf#h replies.#look they make me fucking cry#their relationship hurts me so bad#and fuck whenever they MEET AGAIN!!!#LITERALLY SO FUCKING RECKLESS TTRYING TO KEEP THE OTHER FROM EVER LEAVING THEM AGAIN LIKE HAHA SIKE BITCH#I DIDN'T COME BACK FROM THE DEAD ONLY FOR NOTHIN#YOU'RE NEVER GETTIGN RID OF ME AND IM NEVER GETTING RID OF YOU#oc: zoe huang#this is also so fucking rambly i apologizeee#suicide /#depression /#death /#alcohol /#ask to tag
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
Answer all of them đ 1 to 85
 e__________________e
thank u for aiding me in my procrastination endeavors
1. Are looks ever important in a relationship?
To an extent, yeah.
2. Are relationships ever worth it?
what a dumb question . duh .Â
3. Are you a virgin?
sure would be awkward if i said yes, wouldnât it? ;))
4. Are you in a relationship?
yeeeee
5. Are you in love?
Very much so
6. Are you single this year?
No !! I still canât quite believe it
7. Can you commit to one person?
yeh
8.Describe your crush.
A ginger nerd :////////
9. Describe your perfect mate.
10. Done
11. Do you ever want to get married?
Yes pls
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
To an extent ??
13. Do you get jealous easily?
not to psychotic levels (i hope) but occasionally yeah
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
yeah sorry u had to find out like this ://
15. Do you have any piercings?
just my earlobes :((
16. Do you have any tattoos?
no :((((((((
17. Done
Iâd never noticed it jumps from 17 right to 20 but yeah thatâs done
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
Well fuck I hope so
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
When are you not tbh xoxo
23. Do you think you can last 6 months in a relationship and not cheat?
Obviously
24. Do you think youâll be married in five years?
I doubt it
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
yes pls donât leave me
26. Has anyone ever told you they donât want to lose you?
ye :^)
27. Has anyone ever written a song or poem for you?
Ye
28. Done
29. Done
30. Done
31. Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?
Yeah lmao
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
I mean .. Iâve had unreciprocated crushes but it was hardly that dramatic
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
Yes
34. Done
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
Yeah
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
Haha hello xo (but yeah Iâve made a terrible habit out of that over the years lmao ,,, glad this time it worked out)
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Yeah lol that was a bad time
38. Have you ever liked someone you didnât expect to?
Probably
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldnât have?
I guess??
40. Done
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
Yeee
42. How long can you kiss before your hands start to wander?
Probably not very long lmao
43. Done
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
2 boyfriends
45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/13?
None lmao
46. How many times did you have sex last year?
Zero . unbelievable .Â
47. How old are you?
20
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
Iâm not sure tbhâŠ. like I want you to be happy so if you decided you wanted to be with someone else I could be like âokay cool i wish you all the best then sorry i wasted your timeâ . or I could get super petty and indirect you on social media for the rest of ur life . either way Iâd be pretty devastated ngl
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favourite thing about him/her?
Itâs really hard to choose a favourite thing about a person when you love everything about them. Maybe your voice. Itâs really comforting.
50. Done
51. Is there a boy/girl you would do anything for?
Within reason I mean ://
52. Is there anyone youâve given up on? Why?
Iâve given up on most of humanity lmao weâre one fucked up species
53. Is there someone mad because youâre dating/talking to the person you are?
I donât wanna say yes but . they make it hard to think otherwise sometimes lmao
54. Is there someone youâll never forget?
I tend not to forget people in general but yeah thereâs definitely some specific people
55. Done
56. Done
57. Things you want to say to an ex?
Thanks for being cool sometimes
Thinking about the fact that we dated makes me feel a bit weird now
See u never xo
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
1. Literally just be nice to me
2. Donât judge me for my love of pineapple on pizza xo
3. ?????
59. What do you look like? (post a picture)
i could post a more flattering photo ,,, but thatâs not what i truly look like ,,,, i canât keep lying to u all,, my ugly snaps are far more true-to-life xo
60. Done
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
Their eyebrows tbqh
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
Never abandon me xo
63. What is your definition of having sex?
Being physically intimate with someone in some way ? With sexual intentions ?
64. Done
65. Done
66. What is your favourite roleplay routine?
I donât have one but I know how important this information is to all the strangers who follow me so Iâll keep u guys updated xo
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
Hmm. We leave our respective homes together and never return.
For real tho, I like adventurous dates where we go exploring ! Like the times weâve gone to pet farms and befriended every animal we come across or gone for long walks in forests or explored castles ! Those ones have always been super fun and I have really fond memories of them :â)
68. What is your sexual orientation?
Bisexual
69. What turns you off?
old men who think itâs funny to catcall or make advances towards much younger women who literally could not be less interested or afraid like honestly go die xo
70. Done
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
iâve never had a wet dream
72. What words do you like hearing during sex?
i rly like hearing my name and also anything mildly validating . if i hear the words âgood girlâ i will Melt
73. Whatâs something sweet youâd like someone to do for you?
love me, feed me, nvr leave me xoxo
74. Done
75. Whatâs the sweetest thing anyoneâs ever done for you?
I genuinely havenât a clue DĂłnal outdoes himself all the time like ?? Chasing buses? Making me go to his place once bc he claimed to have a âsurpriseâ for me, telling me that said surprise was a mug of tea anD THEN telling me heâd bought us both tickets to Ed Sheeran ? Telling me he was bringing his ukulele to my house when he came up for my birthday so I wouldnât suspect heâd bought e a ukulele of my own ?? Letting me basically live with him for weeks at a time occasionally and taking care of me and making sure Iâve eaten every day? The time I was sick and he made me tea and toast and tucked me into bed and I cried because he was so nice to me ?? All the times heâs comforted me when things are really bad and I donât rly feel like being alive ?? Not getting sick of me ????? The possibilities are ENDLESS
76. Whatâs the sweetest thing youâve ever done for someone?
Iâm not sure tbh Iâm a worthless trash person I doubt Iâve ever done anything particularly special for anyone
77. Whatâs your opinion on age differences in relationships?
Past a certain point itâs okay. But itâs really dodgy where teenagers are concerned.
78. Whatâs your dirtiest secret?
I was once too depressed to wash my hair for two weeks :///
79. When was the last time you felt jealous?
Iâve already answered this but just for the sake of actually being petty like the question intended
This morning I woke up to a message from my lovely boyfriend with a screenshot of a picture a girl he used to go to school with put on tumblr
And this picture contained said girl, his ex girlfriend, and two other girls heâs made out with at some point or another
And theyâre all rly pretty well his ex is a generally awful person and physically not my type at all but the other three made me :(((( bc P R E T T Y and iâm an E G G
80. Done
81. Done
82. Who is the last person you hugged?
My baby brother probably
83. Who was your first kiss with?
My ex
84. Done
85. Would you ever date someone off the internet?
Probably not ! Wouldnât be able to put that much trust in it I donât think . Would absolutely become friends with someone and meet them and hang out with them a few times and then maybe if there was a connection Iâd date them since we technically knew each other irl . But Iâd never like . talk to someone exclusively online and declare it a relationship without having met them
#THIS TOOK SO LONG MY GOODNESS#most of my answers aren't v serious#i'll answer them properly if i'm asked to#but there were a lot of questions here and i could ramble on forever in certain ones and yeah i just couldn't be arsed right now xo#answered#officialdevolutionlater
2 notes
·
View notes
Photo
MORE ASKS IâVE BEEN IGNORING!!!!!!!
GETÂ âEM WHILE THEYâRE HOT
P.S. ALL OF U WHO SENT ME THE CHAIN THINGY ILYSOMUCHÂ
Why is her step-douche such a foken piece of shit? omg i hate him
some mysteries are never meant to be explained tbh. why is he so ugly and evil? who wronged him? but also who cares heâs in jail forever now good riddance ugly
I know this is probably really bad, but after I saw the newest molly posts, I thought of that video where the little girl is yelling "MISS KEISHA, MISS KEISHA, oh my fukin gosh she fukin dead"
OMFGFD I DIDNâT KNOW WHAT THAT VIDEO WAS SO I JUST WATCHED IT AND IâM LAUGHIN
i donât blame u i bet when it happens iâm gonna be like âu know she dedâ
(To the previous anon) i agree with you so, so much! In Poland, these dumbass politicians are letting shooting pregnant bisons (?? Im not sure how they're called) become legal. Like BITCH WHAT. Can you imagine??? A fucking pregnant lil' cow getting shot????? I feel Molly's pain on an emotional level rn (sorry if this is too nsfw, just needed to get that outta my system...)
i think this was in response to someone saying that hurting pregnant women is one of the worst crimes but um WTF shooting animals at all makes me itchy but pregnant ones..............nah thatâs......nah
itâs ok get it outta ur system iâm here 4 u
the first thing I check in the morning is your account.... you have me whipped! ;|
OMG WHA LMAO REALLY thatâs wild. i feel like iâm the only one who looks at my page which is dumb but like idk i still feel like a little kid that no one cares about lmao. but then you guys exist and amaze me with your responsiveness every day and i just ;____________; ily all
hi Sunny. first of all i'm gonna say i love your story and your editing style so much! your blog is goals like literally. i need an advice if you don't mind. you always find such amazing angles for your pictures while mine are so boring. any tips or tricks you can share?
HI thank you so much ;-; sooooo iâve been thinking about this question the past couple of times i went in game, trying to figure out how to describe how i take pictures. for one thing i live in tab mode lmao. meaning you press the tab button on your keyboard to go into camera mode and get all these sexy angles and super zoom and stufffff. i almost always zoom in super far idk why. so thereâs one tip. i honestly just play around with going up and down with the q and e keys (i think?) until i find angles i like. i take a lottttt of pictures with so many different angles just so i have a lot to choose from. basically i try to focus on different things in each picture in order to get a mix of the most diverse and dynamic shots possible. you just need to experiment and get creative. i know thatâs the most vague advice ever but really just try a new angle that youâve never considered before and i bet youâll get cool results. an interesting setting is also the biggest factor, because certain objects and their placements will give you interesting results.Â
i honestly want to print out your reaction pic to that one post and just hang it on my wall, put it in my heart locket necklace, stamp it on people's faces, start an email thread with it. i love it.
an add on to the last ask i sent about your reaction pic. i've been looking at it religiously since it was posted, and i dont regret a minute of it. LMAO I'LL STOP NOW.
SAKJDLJKGKSDAF STOPPPP LMAOOO i looked so ugly but that was my pure unadulterated reaction to that question and i trust you all to not judge my ugliness and instead share this reaction with me. iâm glad u liked it that much, i just printed it out and iâm cutting it into a small heart to put inside ur locket ok
everytime i hear cigarette daydreams by cage the elephant i think of a serious case of the novembers like its so fitting and then i get all emo when i listen to it lmao rip
OMMMMGGGGGGG YESSSSS how have i never made that connection before honestly. cage the elephant is one of my faves and iâve seen them perform twice actually!! iâm watching the music vid for that song now and even that reminds me of my story ;-; i cry
thank you for sending this, and also i cry @ the fact that you used the actual title *dies* now this song is gonna make me emo til the end of time thx
i might sound like some crazy stalker fan but i just want to say you are so freakin awesome and nice and funny and cute and (i can go on forever) so caring! i love your blog so much and all the hard work and care you put into all your posts and followers. thanks for making my day and making me smile so much. you have no clue how much i look forward to seeing your posts and your hilarious hashtags and answers from asks and AMAZING story posts. im sorry i just wanted to let you know ur awesome ily
OFMG WHAT!!!!!! I AM ONLY AN EEL!!!!!! but no you donât sound like a crazy stalker, i actually love this, youâre too sweet, thank you ;-; iâm just blushin so much reading this omg. YOU EVEN LIKE MY TAGS WOW thatâs true love. ily ;-; <333
how do you get your sims' facial expressions to line up with your scenes? I feel like my sims' faces are never right :(
tbh i just use a lot of the same neutral poses...my go-toâs are @helgatishaâs poses lol. theyâre the easiest to work with when i do just plain talking scenes, and often i tweak my simsâ eyebrows and mouths with the liquify tool if i want them to look a bit more concerned, sad, mad, happy, etc., it works like a charm!! i also tend to play around with angles, youâd be surprised how much a different angle can enhance a scene.
Hey smol bean, I'm sent you an ask and now I feel bad that it probably made you feel anxious because you didn't answer it. It was the one about you not liking my posts, I have anxiety too so I'm sorry If I made you feel sad. I think I'm just looking for validation from people I look upto you get me? Anyway sorry again, don't worry about it! Love you!
hiya bb, i know you saw my answer to your original post (and iâm sorry it got some negative attention, i didnât mean for that to happen by any means) anyway donât sweat it, and i really appreciate this follow-up message. you didnât make me feel sad, i just wanna know what i can do. itâs just a hard question yâknow. i understand what you mean, i think everyone wants validation to some degree. tbh you can just come off anon and message me, i promise itâs not as nerve-wracking as it seems! ily
How did you make Santi's tattoos? I want some like that for my Sims but idk how to do it
boop
I HAVE A FEELING THAT MOLLY IS GOING TO DIE DURING THE BIRTH OF THE BEAN OR IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH HER STEPFATHER FINDING OUT ABOUT THE BEAN
WELP U WERE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING
how did you make your characters page on your blog like that?
uoohhh like what?? i used this theme (monolog) if thatâs what you mean aheh. hereâs a guide on how to use custom page themes
okay so THIS IS MY THEORY: they might keep the baby and molly might actually carry it to full term, but then the kid dies in childbirth and either molly also dies or maybe kills herself or gets killed later? or maybe she's still alive but just won't speak to santi anymore cause she like can't look him in the eye after all of that or idk?? since ppl were sending theories i wanted to add mine lmao. another possible theory is that the stepdad finds out and kills her but thats TOO DARK omg
TOO DARK U SAY...WELL!!! itâs not AS dark as you guessed but only marginally
If Molly turns out to be alive and raising their kid alone (though from what I'm seeing in response to most questions I think that may not be the route) am I allowed to slap Santi (unless Molly didn't give him the option to help) because raising a child alone is not easy I've watched my mom do it for years.
YEAH i would give you permission to slap him lmao he would be a grade A piece oâ shit if that were the case. i would never ever write that tho because santi does own up to his actions if theyâre that detrimental. his altruistic nature, no matter how backwards, would never allow him to do that.
There will be complication with the abortion so she will not be able to carry a baby anymore and she's going to kill herself OR her step dad is going to find out and he'll beat her to death. And in both situation Santi his blaming himself because he wasn't there at the right time... Okay I really really hope I'm wrong now !
I don't even follow your story very closely but every time I see your posts my heart hurts.
OMFG...thatâs how u know the pain is real
but like wow my stuff is really so visceral that even my apathetic followers can feel the hurt...thatâs real...thatâs real my guy
omg!! you should 100% play or at least watch a playthrough of life is strange! legit the best game ever made, its so beautiful. the storyline kills you a thousand times over (much like your beautiful story) <3333
yaaaa iâve heard lots of good things about it!! my bf played it actually, maybe heâll revisit it again someday and iâll watch him do it (iâm only a fan of video games if i can watch them like a movie lmao) thank you btw <3
I am shook and I worship you and your story and you are amazing WOW BYE
WORSHIP LMAO WHAT!!! PLS I AM UNDESERVING...ily tho donât worship false gods
Do you let Molly and the younger versions of your characters frolic around your main save or do they have a separate one?
UM YES LMAO because i didnât even know you could have separate saves until after i started the flashbacks lmao iâm...a noob. i donât want separate saves anyway because 1) itâs too much of a hassle switching back and forth and 2) it gets too confusing for me and iâd be afraid of overwriting one save with another and NOPE too much anxiety for that soooo yeah thereâs three santis in my game: child, teen and adult lmfao (fun fact: teen santiâs name is literally just Lil Santi)
I made it to my senior year with 6 A's and 1 B ... Be proud of me too? đ Lmao I told this to people and some of them were just like .. okay cool?! LMAO it's so funny but also kinda sad
I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!!!!!!!!! my smart childrens
âokay coolâ UM PLEASE thatâs a feat...at my school if you got an A in a class in senior year you were allowed to be exempt from the final. so yeah that rules. ily
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
36,48,55,57?
36: What would you tell your younger self?Â
you arenât straight!! and itâs okay! ur dark skin is also okay. more than okay. be as honest and responsible and open w ur parents from the start, bc itâs too late now and i wish i had since the beginning. take care of ur skin and hair PLS. dont fall into the 1d fandom rabbit hole (jk sell it ur soul but beware itll be painful) (but worth it)
48. What is one thing you want to confess?
man i have no clue aaaaaaaaah. well. im teetering on the edge of being pan, not bi! also. i have serious needs for approval and validation all the fucking time itâs tiring.
55. Have you ever had to recover after something?
physical or mental? physical yeh! mental also yep. thank my anxiety.Â
57. Top ten life values?
i love this oneeeeeee omg
a) do you, be proud and love lots
b) judge people by how they treat others not how they treat themselves pls
c) be nice to nice
d) indulge yourslef as much as u want u be the decider on whats right and wrongÂ
e) family isnt only blood u can choose ur family too
f) work hard every day to break away from stereotypes and prejudices society wants u to have
g) when sad, look at colours and aesthetics and glitter. and have a shower, too.
h) find anchors. they can be anything- people whether real or fictional, animals, things, concepts, whatever.Â
i) theres no point in intentionally hurting someones feelings for no reason so dont do it
j) carpe diem!
there u are!Â
thank u sO MUCH FOR ASKING UR A LOVELY BEAN! HAVE A NICE DAY
GUYS ASK ME STUFF
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
( ͥ° ÍÊ ÍĄÂ°) // àČ _àČ
aboot lady j
 ( ͥ° ÍÊͥ°): relationship status?
Single, stuckin a constant hell of having to deal with a severe crush on the one man she canâthave. Bow.
àČ _àČ : what is your biggest pet peeve?
My biggestone would probably be guilt trips. Like â not the kind where someone ishonestly asking for help. Not the kind where someone just really needs someoneto listen to them or just be with them or anything, like those are perfectly fine.I honestly will never mind doing that for people should they ever come to mefor that kind of thing because I know how bad it feels sometimes to have tofeel alone with your thoughts and to just need someone to support or build youup some if you need it. I would never feel troubled about doing that â because honestlyweâre all our worst critics and we need to stop doing that to ourselves everyonce in a while.
But I hatethe kind thatâs manipulative â where you know what a personâs weaknesses areand you prey on it to get what you want out of them. Where you refuse to getyourself out of a bad place because you expect another person to be there foryou to get you out of it themselves. Where you complain and actively dragsomeone to be in that same bad place with you and if they start to show signsof trying to get out of it, you latch on and make them feel bad for everactually trying. Like ??? I donât understand how you can do that to someone.How you can rationalize that kind of behavior in your head â where âIâm fucked,letâs get them fucked up along with me and actually make them feel worseâ. Andnot because misery loves company, but because you honestly just have some petty sense of revenge and you're just passive aggressive whenever they show signs of improving. Especially if theyâre your friend. And if they showsigns of succeeding, you make them feel bad because that means youâre leavingthem behind. Even if they themselves try to do their best to support you andyou just canât give the fucking effort â itâs all just too âmehâ for youanyway. Â
Do you haveany fucking clue how bad that feels?? That like â you canât do anything withouttaking in someone elseâs consideration â without getting their fuckingapproval? And if they do otherwise you make them feel like the bad personbecause youâre leaving them alone?? And like, I had to learn that the hard way becauseotherwise I felt like a bad friend but no, donât ever, ever do that to someone.If you want to succeed, you do have to work for it. You have to want to put theeffort into it. The support will be there but donât rely on someone else to getyou where you want to go because then youâll never improve and even if itâsjust a tiny bit of genuine effort, it means a lot because itâs a fucking start!And even if you donât feel the improvement now, you will eventually and thatâsenough of a reason to keep moving forward. So long as you make the attempt. Butdonât drag someone else into it just because you canât even bother to fucking try like thatâs the worst thing you canever do to yourself. And donât make it out to be someone elseâs fault when itfalls flat on you â because you didnât take it seriously.
Especially ifyou send anon messages talking shit aboutyourself and expecting me to post that crap so I can say a thousand good thingsabout you and defend you to make yourself feel better. Do not ever. Dothat. To me. I hate being manipulated like that â I hate when people come to meonly for that, because they know Iâll do my best to make you believe otherwise.Because they only want me to validate them rather than actually be my friend. IjustâŠI put a lot of myself into those kind of things because I do care so muchabout my friends and to know that itâs â just a game to them. That theyâre justwords that they know they can get out of me because Iâm their friend â that itâsa fucking trophy - it just reallyhurts me tbh. And to know that when I really need them â that the gesture isnâtreturned, that not an ounce of care is given because Iâm told that âyou shouldlearn to be more apatheticâ, that they do come to comfort me only so that âotherpeople can see Iâm being a good friendâ â itâs justâŠsad. And it pisses me offlike you wouldnât believe â I swear to god. It just goes to show how much youmean to someone, you know?
That youâve actively been  relegated to the validation machine rather than a person you genuinely want tobe friends with. Ugh.
Iâm sofucking salty about this pls kill me
â @hhemeraa
#(( my salt is --- not even recent#i mean its kind of recent but still a few months back#but its STILL RELEVANT ))#hhemeraa#&& did you think i wasn't real (about j)#&& waste time with a masterpiece (answered asks)
0 notes